In the River of Neil

Me drowning in the river of Neil
Mask my feelings under
Being scolded
Growing old is ok
But looking young is timely enough
Can you tell how I feel
By reading the unspoken words of a misunderstood girl
Whom seeks for something but never knows what shes seeking
Always thought if a man would accept me I would be a blessing for me but never thought that once he accepted me that he would leave me with
Finding myself always searching for acceptance
But theres this fear of uncertainty about his dependence would justify him to stay with me regardless of sex or not but he needs to just want to stay with me